Back to School

Well, I am back to school after another long train ride. I was again ran into some great people for good conversation. I met two graduate students out of Vancouver who were working as pastoral ministers and an accountant for a non profit organization similar to my own experiance at the Catholic Worker houses. They seemed to be Christian based and were very interested in my own volunteering and life ministry choices. A good three hours of conversation. After being home and talking to them I am reminded again of my dreams and goals to include social justice, faith, and community living somehow in my life. When this is to come in the way I picture (of which I am not even sure) and in what form I have no idea. But it does feel good to once again have a resonation of spirit within my soul. I have been hitting the books had lately ranging from Dostoyevsky (sp), some non-fiction, as well as some good old guilty pleasure fantasy. I feel now more than in a long time I have a light spirit and am in a pleasant mood of which I wish I could hold onto. All to soon I will be hit by the ways of work and repetition without reflection. I only hope I can manage to push through with some of the goals that I pray help me through and will ultimately bring me victory (want to stay for another year) by the end of the semester. I did not sleep well on the train so I bid you good evening and good dreams, I am off to chase my own.

Peace

School work and what's to come

I had a great holiday season and break to end out the year. Finding time to not only rest but to see many friends and have some great conversations and reminders on what I want to represent in my life. It is hard when working day in and day out for hours on end to hold onto an open mind with peace seeking mindfulness. Or a single mindfulness at all. I have found that in Browning it is easy to loose myself in the loneliness, solitude, and the routine of teaching. I often feel that I mentally subvert to fractured thoughts and depression looking for ways to cope with the difficulties that my home presents. On those weekends that I feel that I need to just get ounce of genuine peace within. I have many things in my life that pull me away from this peace. Anxiety over my future and relationships especially. But a again I am finding these challenges incredibly rewarding through the skills and relationships that I do find. I have never felt that so positively that I was doing a good job. I pray that these feelings continue with my new responsibilities. Getting again to a point, I am thankful to all those I was able to spend time with this break and am looking forward to getting back to Browning and working hard once more. Hopefully holding on to the perspectives and optimism's that I originally entered over a year and a half ago with. Good luck on your journey through the new year everyone.  

Here is a poem that I wrote around 3 am the other night.

Insomniac 

I cannot keep my eyes closed

too many thoughts, ideas juxtaposed

stuck in the middle 

of life's riddle 

a head of anxiety

passionless piety

coasting along

while running on empty

a wish to be filled

but always found spilled

a hope is receding

while the wound is still bleeding

the tide is run low

no water to glow

a feeling so barren 

there is little left care in

the day is still there

no future to spare