I had a great holiday season and break to end out the year. Finding time to not only rest but to see many friends and have some great conversations and reminders on what I want to represent in my life. It is hard when working day in and day out for hours on end to hold onto an open mind with peace seeking mindfulness. Or a single mindfulness at all. I have found that in Browning it is easy to loose myself in the loneliness, solitude, and the routine of teaching. I often feel that I mentally subvert to fractured thoughts and depression looking for ways to cope with the difficulties that my home presents. On those weekends that I feel that I need to just get ounce of genuine peace within. I have many things in my life that pull me away from this peace. Anxiety over my future and relationships especially. But a again I am finding these challenges incredibly rewarding through the skills and relationships that I do find. I have never felt that so positively that I was doing a good job. I pray that these feelings continue with my new responsibilities. Getting again to a point, I am thankful to all those I was able to spend time with this break and am looking forward to getting back to Browning and working hard once more. Hopefully holding on to the perspectives and optimism's that I originally entered over a year and a half ago with. Good luck on your journey through the new year everyone.
Here is a poem that I wrote around 3 am the other night.
Insomniac
I cannot keep my eyes closed
too many thoughts, ideas juxtaposed
stuck in the middle
of life's riddle
a head of anxiety
passionless piety
coasting along
while running on empty
a wish to be filled
but always found spilled
a hope is receding
while the wound is still bleeding
the tide is run low
no water to glow
a feeling so barren
there is little left care in
the day is still there
no future to spare
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